March 2009
1 post
Find out your significant other picks his/her nose and eats it
OR
Find out your significant other flirts heavily with your best friend
February 2009
9 posts
Start the week with terrible work or school-related news
OR End the week with terrible work or school-related news
Be told by your doctors that you’re never allowed to drink any kind of alcohol again
OR
Be told by your doctors that your sense of taste is gone forever
(As opposed to having two...)
Have one leg
OR
Have one arm
Have the ability to hear what members of the opposite sex are thinking (a la What Women Want), but you can choose when and when not to hear.
OR
Have the ability to eat whatever you want without having it affect your weight or overall health.
female/male
Date Jim/Pam
OR
Date Leonardo DeCaprio/Bar Refaeli
Play in the Super Bowl with a severely fractured rib (Ben Roethlisberger)
OR
Contract an STD from Rihanna (Chris Brown)
If you had to work a 4-day work week...
Get Fridays off
OR
Get Mondays off
Be a hawk
OR
Be a shark
Get punched in the face every morning by a random stranger you can’t predict on your way to a job you’re content with (but it’s not your favorite). And no, you can’t hide or use any tricks. Some designated person will find you and clock you in the face.
OR
Have a job that you absolutely hate
January 2009
8 posts
Live on a yacht and sail the world’s waters, stopping at cities to give excursion and scuba tours for a living.
OR
Live in a state-of-the-art mobile home that runs on electricity that is paid for by the government and travel the country taking pictures for a renowned photo journal.
Be Kevin Federline
OR
Be Fred Durst
Not be able to orgasm for the rest of your life
OR
Shoot a pony in the head while the little girl who got it for Christmas watches
Have the ability to fly
OR
Have the ability to be invisible
Be stuck listening to “It’s A Small World After All” at a loud volume on repeat for 2 weeks straight in a small, pitch-black room (equipped only with meager food rations and a toilet)
OR
Be stuck in the same pitch-black room for one day with a sleeping King Cobra, which you obviously cannot locate (but it can locate you via its ability to sense body heat). And somewhere else...
Be eaten alive by thousands of fire ants
OR
Be tickled to death through asphyxiation
Be deaf
OR
Be blind
Work at your dream job for $50,000/year for the rest of your life
OR
Get paid $200,000/year to sit at a desk in a plain white room with no window and surf the internet on a 56k-modem connection